I'm trying hard not to use a specific reference, but you'll probably know it's you after the first sentence.

Bright lights, they tend to burn out fast. So I shine bright, but I'm scared that it won't last.

If I'm a faggot spell it right, I got way more than two G's

You have to be real with yourself. No one is doing that. People are too concerned with making everything look nice and calm and pretty.

Careers very rarely are a waste of time; jobs usually are.

You used to have to beg and be the busboy to do standup. I got on Community because people saw my videos on YouTube, which were free.

I have an obsession with books about kids with Asperger's syndrome.