I'm trying hard not to use a specific reference, but you'll probably know it's you after the first sentence.

If I'm a faggot spell it right, I got way more than two G's

A lot of my sketches came from thoughts, and I always just wanted to act them out.

I hope people come to the shows because they feel like there's something there that I can't necessarily articulate, but it's real and it's fun.

Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!

Took the G out yo waffle, all you got left is your ego.

We had a teacher, named Mr. Brown, and he was writing something on the board once - he was writing something on the board, and he farted. And you would have thought kids had seen the face of God. Kids weren't even laughing; they were just sitting there screaming, just screaming. Kids had to get carted out; kids were screaming. Kids had to get carted out, and they were going to the nurses' office. Kids are crying in the hallway. 'Oh, this is our 9/11.' And it was. It was their 9/11 'cause they never thought anything like that could ever happen.