I think it's a comedian's job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits.

Revenge is for the weak so I have settled my vendettas with all of the kids who made my early life a living hell.

I'd much rather have AIDS than a baby... They're not that different at all. They're both expensive, you have them for the rest of your life, they're constant reminders of the mistakes you've made and once you have them, you pretty much can only date other people who have them.

Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.

I think the best music videos are the ones that have nothing to do with the song. Those are all my favorites.

The only reason I'm able to do music is because I'm making money on 'Community.' If I wasn't, I couldn't pay for things.

Suicide is kinda dumb to me. If I wanna kill myself I will. It's not hard to die, I could do it like right now. But why is everybody pretending like everything's ok, Everything's not ok. We are more connected than we've ever been, But I feel more alone than I've ever been.