For a few minutes, everything is so cute that the mind reels.... And then, believe it or not, things get worse. So I shot myself.

Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn.

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.

Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.

Just begin a story with such a phrase as 'I remember Disraeli - poor old Dizz! - once saying to me, in answer to my poke in the eye,' and you will find me and Morpheus off in a corner, necking.

Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.