For a few minutes, everything is so cute that the mind reels.... And then, believe it or not, things get worse. So I shot myself.

Scratch a king and find a fool!

There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.

I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia.

There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.

Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.

This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.