There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.

Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.

A girl's best friend is her mutter.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Scratch an actor and you'll find an actress.

Eternity is a ham and two people.

Benchley and I had an office in the old Life magazine that was so tiny, if it were an inch smaller it would have been adultery.