A girl's best friend is her mutter.

Excuse me, everybody, I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarrassed to say so.

I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.

[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.

I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again

[To woman bragging about having kept her husband for seven years:] Don't worry, if you keep him long enough, he'll come back in style.