... if this world were anything near what it should be there would be no more need of a Book Week than there would be a of a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. The boys have gone hog-wild with liberty, yet the short flat terms used over and over, both in dialogue and narrative, add neither vigor nor clarity; the effect is not of shock but of something far more dangerous — tedium.

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.

Sure, you make money writing on the coast ... but that money is like so much compressed snow. It goes so fast it melts in your hand.

One more drink and I'd have been under the host.