Gertrude Stein did us the most harm when she said, 'You're all a lost generation.' That got around to certain people and we all said, 'Whee! We're lost.

Scratch an actor and you'll find an actress.

Hold your pen and spare your voice.

Excuse me, everybody, I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarrassed to say so.

Writing well is the best revenge.

I've finally gotten to the bottom of things.

[On hearing that President Coolidge was dead:] How can you tell?