[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.

Writing well is the best revenge.

People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.

Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.

There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.

The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.