[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.

When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.

Eternity is a ham and two people.

Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.

Scratch a lover, and find a foe.

On being told of the death of former President Calvin Coolidge: How could they tell?

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.