You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

Time affords us the ability to blame past errors on others while whole heartedly pronouncing our futures successes.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

The big corporations are suddenly taking notice of the web, and their reactions have been slow. Even the computer industry failed to see the importance of the Internet, but that's not saying much. Let's face it, the computer industry failed to see that the century would end.

Not unnaturally, many elevators imbued with intelligence and precognition became terribly frustrated with the mindless business of going up and down, up and down, experimented briefly with the notion of going sideways, as a sort of existential protest, demanded participation in the decision-making process and finally took to squatting in basements sulking. An impoverished hitch-hiker visiting any planets in the Sirius star system these days can pick up easy money working as a counsellor for neurotic elevators.

Technology is the name we give to stuff that doesn't work properly yet