Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back. Loaning books is the same as giving them away.

Life need not be a story, but it does need to be an adventure.

I am reminded that no matter how hard you try, you can never be more than twelve years old with your parents. Parents earnestly try not to inflame, but their comments contain no scale and a strange focus. Discussing your private life with parents is like misguidedly looking at a zit in a car's rearview mirror and being convinced, in the absence of contrast or context, that you have developed combined heat rash and skin cancer.

As the expression goes, we spend our youth attaining wealth, and our wealth attaining youth.

I say ‘Uhmm...’ a lot. I mentioned this to Karla and she says it’s a CPU word. It means you’re assembling data in your head - spooling.

I sandpapered the roof of my mouth with 3 bowls of Cap'n Crunch - had raw gobbets of mouth-beef dangling onto my tongue all day

Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car.