[Washington] is the political capital. It's essentially a big office.

Cooking? Oh we were great, you'd take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was didn't have to wash up!

There's always a host of voices you're inspired by. I love Don DeLillo, and I love Isaac Bashevis Singer, and I love Beckett, and I love Pinter. He's one of the funniest voices in English literature since Dickens.

Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world.

I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I'm just a guy who happens to work in public from time to time. I've built a reputation as an established comic, not as a celebrity - a celebrity is someone who is famous but doesn't do anything.