What is universal can be surprising. Over time you find the kind of stuff which has people thinking 'That is just something that occurred to me there's something wrong with me', is in fact stuff that is universal.

The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.

If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.

I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.

Don't you DARE use party as a verb in my shop

You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!

People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know... People - I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they want more love or attention, or what it is, but they always go for the most obvious place, you know? Here... Well if you really want more attention, why not get them in your eyes? And then move your eyes down to where your nipples used to be, put your breasts up on your head, everybody will pay attention!