When I was young, all the politicians looked like ancient Latin teachers or greengrocers. They were mumbly, stumbly men with their hair blowing in their eyes, walking into trees, opening the wrong door. They had no idea how to present themselves.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything.

I'm delighted to make as many people feel ashamed as possible. There's probably a site like that for everybody. I've heard Newt Gingrich has his own as well.

Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know; mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city. Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.

You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.