Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.

As an Irish person, there's a historical fascination with America: America is the default green and promised land for Irish people and Italians; that's what we grow up with.

I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder.

You look like a horse in a man costume

I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.

I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.