I just wish I had longer. It's very frustrating. As you know, to people over here, cities like [Washington] D.C. are iconic. We know them so well. It's very frustrating to be in one of them for 36 hours and have a show to do because you can't really do anything.

When I was young, all the politicians looked like ancient Latin teachers or greengrocers. They were mumbly, stumbly men with their hair blowing in their eyes, walking into trees, opening the wrong door. They had no idea how to present themselves.

I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.

The East is very mysterious to Westerners. Even post-Cold War, it's still an unknown entity.

I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like this, and that's really up to them, that's fine, but I don't sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don't do that then I won't interest anybody else.

You exaggerate your own reactions.

I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.