It probably says something really clinically terrible about my character that I need to get up on a stage and go 'Ra ra ra' in front of people.

It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

Don't you DARE use party as a verb in my shop

I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target.

Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion.