Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soapbox about it.

I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.

Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.

He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.

I used to live with two other guys. We used to cook two things. The first one was called 'cheese... thing' and that was where you get something and you melt cheese over it and the first one to guess what it is doesn't have to wash up. That's obviously quite Mediterranean; the other one was less complex. It was just called 'cheese fantasy.' That's where you come in, very drunk, at about five in the morning and find an apple and just pretend there's some cheese on it.