If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder.

Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!

Stand-up came naturally to me because people in Ireland talk. But that's not talking on panel shows; it is structured fun. It reminds me of some tragic aunt clapping her hands and bouncing into a room and announcing we should all play games... and if we don't we are all a rotten spoilsport.

The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.

I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like this, and that's really up to them, that's fine, but I don't sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don't do that then I won't interest anybody else.