The Chinese tell time by 'The Year of the Horse' or 'The Year of the Dragon.' I tell time by 'The Year of the Back' and 'The Year of the Elbow.' This year it's 'The Year of the Ulnar Nerve.' Someone once asked me if I had any physical incapacities of my own. 'Sure I do,' I said. 'One big one - Jim Palmer.'

The job of arguing with the umpire belongs to the manager, because it won't hurt the team if he gets thrown out of the game.

I gave (pitcher) Mike Cuellar more chances than I gave my first wife.

Don't worry, the fans don't start booing until July.

The guy who says, 'I love the challenge of managing,' is one step from being out of a job. I don't welcome any challenge. I'd rather have nine guys named Robinson.

I think the National League has better biorhythms in July.

My best game plan is to sit on the bench and call out specific instructions like 'C'mon Boog,' 'Get a hold of one, Frank,' or 'Let's go, Brooks.'