The Chinese tell time by 'The Year of the Horse' or 'The Year of the Dragon.' I tell time by 'The Year of the Back' and 'The Year of the Elbow.' This year it's 'The Year of the Ulnar Nerve.' Someone once asked me if I had any physical incapacities of my own. 'Sure I do,' I said. 'One big one - Jim Palmer.'

I never got many questions about my managing. I tried to get twenty-five guys who didn't ask questions.

I'd rather you walk with the bases loaded.

Optimism is the cheerful frame of mind that enables a teakettle to sing, though in hot water up to its nose.

No one's gonna give a damn in July if you lost a game in March.

You win pennants in the off season when you build your teams with trades and free agents.

Every time I fail to smoke a cigarette between innings, the opposition will score.