I remember doing one day of work, and I was so good I ended up doing 25 days on that movie. And all of it ended up on the editing room floor. That was my first Hollywood lesson: Just because you filmed a movie doesn't necessarily mean that you're in it.

My favorite date movie is Scarface. There's nothing like taking a woman to see Scarface. It gets the panties off quick.

Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally.

It was frustrating because I didn't do anything, ... I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and he decided to punish me. I couldn't do anything about it.

I think men are afraid to say that they would love to have Michelle Obama in their bed, but they think it.

It's definitely a relief that it's over. It's been a long season for us, with ups and downs. But we're going to put it behind us now and we've got to try and be a better team.

If bribery is good enough for Congress, it's good enough for me.