I never wrote a joke in my life. I just get on stage and let it flow.

I think some teams shied away because of it, ... But Minnesota stuck with me and I was happy about that.

The war is really about religion. The war's between Jesus and Muhammad. The Christians say Jesus is the messenger. Muslims say Muhammad is the messenger. Who gives a expletive who the messenger is did you get the message?

I remember riding across the Brooklyn Bridge about 12 times because they wanted me to keep up with the helicopter, and I said, "Can you have the helicopter keep up with me, my calves are burning!"

He's been on vacation for a year and month. Captain Kirk never left the helm when the Enterprise was under attack.

You have to know the human condition to get that many people to all respond at the same time to the same subject. You gotta understand humanity in order to portray it.

There's only three major elements. Air, land, which is your flesh and water, which is your blood. You're walking on a third of yourself. She's called Mother Earth. She gave birth to your ass. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, your maggot food ass going right back to her!