I never wrote a joke in my life. I just get on stage and let it flow.

We've lost a bunch on the road, I don't even know how many. It's a relief to get this one.

He's been on vacation for a year and month. Captain Kirk never left the helm when the Enterprise was under attack.

You have to know the human condition to get that many people to all respond at the same time to the same subject. You gotta understand humanity in order to portray it.

If bribery is good enough for Congress, it's good enough for me.

There's only three major elements. Air, land, which is your flesh and water, which is your blood. You're walking on a third of yourself. She's called Mother Earth. She gave birth to your ass. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, your maggot food ass going right back to her!

It was awkward and embarrassing, but you have to go through things, ... I got through it and I'm happy it's over with and I can move forward and start playing.