Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally.

We've lost a bunch on the road, I don't even know how many. It's a relief to get this one.

If bribery is good enough for Congress, it's good enough for me.

You have to know the human condition to get that many people to all respond at the same time to the same subject. You gotta understand humanity in order to portray it.

I believe God wrote the Word in your essence. That's the genius of my Father. You are born knowing right from wrong. You don't need a book to tell you that!

Actually it broke my heart to hear that we were going to have to part ways, ... It's a business and they had to do what they had to do.

You know how we built the pyramids? You gotta ask yourself a question always flip the script. What if up was down and down was up? What if you looked down into space standing up on Earth? This is how we built the pyramids.