Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally.

It's definitely a relief that it's over. It's been a long season for us, with ups and downs. But we're going to put it behind us now and we've got to try and be a better team.

I think some teams shied away because of it, ... But Minnesota stuck with me and I was happy about that.

Actually it broke my heart to hear that we were going to have to part ways, ... It's a business and they had to do what they had to do.

We've lost a bunch on the road, I don't even know how many. It's a relief to get this one.

In Europe, kids learn at least four languages before they're out of high school. But our education system is so underfunded, they go to school to buy heroin and an AK-47.

There's only three major elements. Air, land, which is your flesh and water, which is your blood. You're walking on a third of yourself. She's called Mother Earth. She gave birth to your ass. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, your maggot food ass going right back to her!