The war is really about religion. The war's between Jesus and Muhammad. The Christians say Jesus is the messenger. Muslims say Muhammad is the messenger. Who gives a expletive who the messenger is did you get the message?

One plus one equals three. When a man and woman marry they become one never two.

If bribery is good enough for Congress, it's good enough for me.

Reading is fundamental - fun to mental.

It's definitely a relief that it's over. It's been a long season for us, with ups and downs. But we're going to put it behind us now and we've got to try and be a better team.

I never wrote a joke in my life. I just get on stage and let it flow.

You know how we built the pyramids? You gotta ask yourself a question always flip the script. What if up was down and down was up? What if you looked down into space standing up on Earth? This is how we built the pyramids.