If there were a god, don't you think he would have flicked Hitler's head off?

There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is DEAD!

I definitely have breast envy. When teenage girls were saying 'I wish I had breasts', I was thinking the same thing.

We will now sing forth, hymn 405, 'Oh God, what on earth is my hairdo all about?

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong...with a spoon in them.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.