I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.

I remember when I was being told about Watergate, and I thought, "Oh, America is not what I think America is." But America is what I think it is. It's just that it's two bits of it, and I don't go with the Republican bit of it. I go more with the Democratic bit.

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.

When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.

The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and silly hats.

I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.