"I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?" "Fido looks a bit weird."

Fox hunting, there's big fox hunting thing, there's arguments in Britain about fox hunting. And they go around. They obviously hunt foxes because the foxes, they attack chickens. And posh people have an alliance with chickens just like in the First World War.

Cos people think I'm on drugs and I'm not. I'm really quite... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, Oh, would you like insurance?

I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there!

There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is DEAD!

What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?

Little red cookbook! Little red cookbook!