What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?

Racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, "Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I'll go outside and have a cigarette."

I just play to progressive audiences. You know, if they're watching Discovery Channel, History Channel, that kind of thing, "Monty Python" have already laid the groundwork. They're known around the world. People like that kind of surrealist, left-field humor, and that's what I do. And "Saturday Night Live," a lot of American humor. "The Simpsons," above all, the weird, left-field humor, which I love. And sardonic. So that's all I'm doing. I find that audience, and they're in every developed country around the world.

If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!

I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong...with a spoon in them.

I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.

You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.