When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.

I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.

The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian? It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here. My God, man! Do they want tea? No, I think they're after something a bit more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag. Damn, that's dash cunning of them.

I've done a bit of Latin in my time...but I can control it.

Makeup's just crazy, anyways. Native Americans used to wear it, and it did all right for them until, uh ... well, until you killed them all, I suppose.