But puberty was... well, before puberty, at school, I didn't tell kids I was a transvestite 'cause I thought they might kill me with sticks, you know?

I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there!

You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.

Racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, "Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I'll go outside and have a cigarette."

The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.