My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.

Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon.

Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.

Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

I don't believe that competitions are important.

I want to live till I die. No more, no less.