They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.

But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!

Because that's what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking 'Damn, I'd like to shag myself.'

Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.

Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the First Batallion Transvestite Brigade? Airborne Wing.

Never put a sock in a toaster.