I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.

We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.

Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space.

That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?

I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.

Cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy, that's where the sexuality is. Yeah, it's not drag queen, no; gay men have got that covered. This is male tomboy, and people do get that mixed up, they put transvestite there - no no no no! Little bit of a crowbar separation, thank you! And gay men, I think, would agree. It's male lesbian, that's really where it is, ok? Because... it's true! 'Cause most transvestites fancy girls, fancy women. So that's where it is.

You're gay, you sell books... you probably shag the books.