I'm an Action Transvestite.

You can't land on the moon and say, "Ooh, it's all sticky! It's covered in jam!

Because that's what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking 'Damn, I'd like to shag myself.'

If you get too well-known in comedy, I do believe it blocks people from taking you in drama.

He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.

No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I would like tea. Why don't you put it on my breasts?" "Certainly. Tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?"

Cable cars are fun - everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey.