If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!

I want to be a taxidermist! I wanna fill animals with sand. I wanna get more sand into an animal than anybody has ever bloody got in one. I wanna fill a rat with the entire Gobi Desert, so it’s really quite tight.

I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong...with a spoon in them.

I've done a bit of Latin in my time...but I can control it.

If you get too well-known in comedy, I do believe it blocks people from taking you in drama.

When I first came out, I thought, I want to walk like a real woman, I don't want to do mincing steps. And there was some girl I saw walking up Holloway Road in Islington who had this long languid walk and I thought, that's what I like, so I incorporated her walk into mine.

I wear whatever I want whenever I want. I don't call it drag; I don't even call it cross-dressing. It's just wearing a dress.