I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late.

It's better to oversleep and miss the boat than get up early and sink.

Holidays were invented so single women could overeat without feeling guilty.

When you fall asleep after a big lunch you're really just saving up energy to work off all the calories later on.

You can't run from feelings, Charity. You have to face them. Otherwise your future will look just like your past.

The craze of genealogy is connected with the epidemic for divorce. If we can't figure out who our living relatives are, then maybe we'll have more luck with the dead ones.

I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late.