I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late.

It's better to oversleep and miss the boat than get up early and sink.

I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late.

Holidays were invented so single women could overeat without feeling guilty.

I'm not particularly keen on pity. Pity takes something away from grief. People think they're sharing it, but really they're just taking some. I prefer to keep my grief intact.

Charity groped for the phone, coming up with it at last and croaking "hello" in a voice that sounded exactly like a bullfrog's mating call. Which made a kind of twisted sense - last night she'd been hunting for a mate as well.

Laughter is just like champagne -- only without the headache afterwards.