The craze of genealogy is connected with the epidemic for divorce. If we can't figure out who our living relatives are, then maybe we'll have more luck with the dead ones.

Does breakfast in bed count as a morning workout?

I'm not particularly keen on pity. Pity takes something away from grief. People think they're sharing it, but really they're just taking some. I prefer to keep my grief intact.

When you fall asleep after a big lunch you're really just saving up energy to work off all the calories later on.

Holidays were invented so single women could overeat without feeling guilty.

A massage is just like a movie, really relaxing and a total escape, except in a massage you're the star. And you don't miss anything by falling asleep!

It's better to oversleep and miss the boat than get up early and sink.