Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.

I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like “shut up, shut up, shut upblah blah blah blah blaaaaah.

I put a basketball in front of George Clooney's door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.

I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short and has white hair.

Actually this is really funny - one time she accidentally forgot to leave a note and I had no idea she had even moved. I was living in the house with a beautiful Mexican family for three months before I realized they weren't my cousins visiting from out of town. They were so nice. They called me "Quien es, quien es," which I thought was a beautiful name.

I'm going to be kind, because then it all just kind of spreads, and the world is a little nicer out there.

Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.