Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.

For a long time I thought I knew for sure who I was. I grew up in New Orleans and became a comedian. And there was everything that came along with that. The nightclubs. The smoking. The drinking. Then I turned 13.

What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.

Who needs sleep? I laugh in the face of sleep!

I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous.

Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.

I was raised that you don't use something nice until there's someplace to go.