If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.

I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.

I get paid very well for an amazing, amazing life. I'm blessed.

The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself.

Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most

I watch people's behavior and notice things. I think that's why I became a comedian. I notice how stupid the things we do are.

Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic." "Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here; helicoptered in!?"