I'm glad I'm funny. I'm glad I make people happy, because that's very important. But I'm proud to be known as a kind person.

The first person I learned I could make happy with laughter was my mother, whom I idolize. It was a powerful thing to realize. I knew I had found my life's work.

I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!

Beauty is not between a size 0 and a size 8. It's not a number at all.

Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of 'I think I'm a loser,' try 'I definitely am a loser.' Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if you don't even know you are one? Either you are a loser or you are not. Which is it, stupid?

I think beauty comes from actually knowing who you are. That's real beauty to me.

I know that experts say you're more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn't make me any less frightened of flying. If anything, it makes me more afraid of crossing the street.