I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!

The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

When your heart is broken, when your heart has cracks in it, it lets the light in.

What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore parachute pants for a long, long time, and I'm doin' okay.

My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not

Actually this is really funny - one time she accidentally forgot to leave a note and I had no idea she had even moved. I was living in the house with a beautiful Mexican family for three months before I realized they weren't my cousins visiting from out of town. They were so nice. They called me "Quien es, quien es," which I thought was a beautiful name.

You know that song that asks, "Why do fools fall in love?"? I think the obvious answer is because they're fools.