The first person I learned I could make happy with laughter was my mother, whom I idolize. It was a powerful thing to realize. I knew I had found my life's work.

I don't consider myself an interviewer as much as an entertainer.

Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor.

When there's time for whistling, there's a lot of time on a show.

My hair is always at its best in New York. I don't know what's in the water. It could be mousse.

A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.

Who's to say what's better or worse anyway? Who's to even say what's normal or average? We're all different people and we're allowed to be different from on another. If someone ever says you're weird, say thank you. And then curtsy. No, don't curtsy. That might be too weird. Bow. And tip your imaginary hate. That'll show them.