The first person I learned I could make happy with laughter was my mother, whom I idolize. It was a powerful thing to realize. I knew I had found my life's work.

For some reason, we can't just enjoy somebody else's success. Somehow, that's going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less - and I don't know why.

Procrastination isn't the problem. It's the solution. It's the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.

I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who's making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out?

I cannot believe they haven't yet come up with a better screening process than the mammogram. If a man had to put his special parts inside a clamp to test him for anything, I think they would come up with a new plan before the doctor finished saying, "Put that thing there so I can crush it.

I don't think I remember my first memory.

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.