[Airline food] is the tiniest food I've ever seen in my entire life. Any kind of meat that you get - chicken, steak, anything - has grill marks on each side, like somehow we'll actually believe there's an open-flame grill in the front of the plane.
Ellen DeGeneresYou say you're sick and tired of hearing about me? I've got news for you: I'M sick and tired of hearing about me.
Ellen DeGeneresDo you live each day as if it's your first or your last? Either way you should probably have a diaper on.
Ellen DeGeneresOur flaws are what makes us human. If we can accept them as part of who we are, they really don't even have to be an issue.
Ellen DeGeneres