Heart Breaking, I think that if Dad, staring down the sight of a 10mm, would only tell me he loves me, I could easily change my mind... ...but he won't.
Ellen Hopkinsyou fly until you crash two days two nights no sleep, no food, come down off the monster YOU CRASH REAL HARD
Ellen HopkinsThe more I think about it, the more I believe there has to be a subtle yet satisfying method of revenge.
Ellen HopkinsI want to know what it means to be in love. But in my dictionary 'in love' is indefinable.
Ellen HopkinsI don't love him, & he definitely doesn't love me. Still, he semi-fills a gaping black hole inside me. That place wants love, maybe even needs love, but love is something I"m pretty sure doesn't exist.
Ellen HopkinsEven without them touching me, I feel dirty about what I do. Alex does even filthier things but says it all washes off with soap. I don’t believe that. I think it all leaves stains. Indelible stains.
Ellen HopkinsA breeze blows up, touching my cheek like a little child's kiss. It flutters a piece of paper. "Trash, out there? Must belong to one of us." We move closer, and when I reached for it, I find...... a perfect paper airplane.
Ellen HopkinsThat's what I'll be. A silhouette, rarely seen, and yet believed in. Kaeleigh wants to believe in me. I am her twin, forever alive inside her. And when she needs me, I am always here.
Ellen HopkinsGrown up? Me? I suppose I have. Killing things, and almost killing myself, must have changed me some, after all.
Ellen HopkinsNever say never, dear. You might be surprised at what you can do, should circumstances dictate
Ellen HopkinsSometimes you're traveling a highway, the only road you've ever known and wham! A semi comes from nowhere and rolls right over you. Sometimes you dont wake up. But if you happen to you know things will never be the same. Sometimes that's not so bad. Sometimes lives instersect, no rhyme, no reason, except, perhaps, for a passing semi.
Ellen HopkinsI write poetry anyway and have for years and years. For me, putting fiction and poetry together is like the best of both worlds.
Ellen HopkinsNot even Carol knows firsthand how it feels to be hurt in such a way by someone who's supposed to protect you
Ellen HopkinsAuthors have to write for their characters, for who they are, that's the strength of books. Don't worry about censors. Just write the story you need to tell and the rewards will come.
Ellen HopkinsI hide hurt behind a fake smile. I wear it all the time. Everyone says how I always look so cheerful. Shows what they know I guess.
Ellen HopkinsIs it wrong to leave relative security in favor of unknown risk at the side of someone you love?
Ellen HopkinsI only have have one question, scraping the inside of me. Answer it, and I will stumble back into her shadow, shut my mouth, never ask again. I've tried to ignore it, but it won't go away. It haunts my dreams, chases me through every single day, and I don't have the strength to turn around, face it down. So please tell me and I swear I'll never ask again. It's in your power to make it go away, and all you have to do is tell me why you love her more.
Ellen HopkinsBecause to tell you the truth, most of the time dying seems pretty much like my only means of escape
Ellen HopkinsAnd if candor strikes to forcefully, step back, draw careful breath, and consider the angle your words must take before you open your mouth, let them leak out. Because once you tilt the truth, it becomes a lie.
Ellen HopkinsHOW do you define a word without concrete meaning? To each his own, the saying goes, so WHY push to attain an ideal state of being that no two random people will agree is WHERE you want to be? Faultless. Finished. Incomparable. People can never be these, and anyway, WHEN did creating a flawless facade become a more vital goal than learning to love the person WHO lives inside your skin? The outside belongs to others. Only you should decide for you - WHAT is perfect.
Ellen HopkinsLearning by example is valid, but when you have the information to know that turning in a certain direction can lead you to a very wrong place, most of the "blame" is on the individual.
Ellen HopkinsI nod, because I do understand. I'm just not sure how to go about divorcing myself from the evil I've already accepted.
Ellen HopkinsNonfiction speaks to the head. Fiction speaks to the heart. Poetry speaks to the soul. It's the essence of beauty. The essence of pain. It pleases the eye and the ear.
Ellen HopkinsWithout Warning Sometimes you're traveling a highway, the only road you've ever known, and wham! A semi comes from nowhere and rolls right over you.
Ellen HopkinsMe? Beautiful? I'm plain as cardboard. That may be how you see yourself, but the rest of the world would be hard to agree. You shine brighter than the Milky Way. Now there are those who might try to take that from you, but you don't have to give it away. Keep on shining Pattyn. And when the right young man comes along, he'll love you all the more for giftin' this sad planet with your light.
Ellen HopkinsParadise A concept embraced by almost every culture. A land of peace and harmony. Some say it doesn't belong to the earth, that there is no Shangri-la, no utopian wilderness for the living.
Ellen HopkinsI can see why she feels left behind. Maybe even discarded. Is that why she refuses to accept my love and return it? Afraid that love doesn't last? Doesn't really exist? Afraid if her own father can withdraw his love (or at least the manifestation of his love), that maybe she somehow isn't worthy of the emotion?
Ellen HopkinsThe truth is, I've always been afraid of letting anyone get too close. I built a wall around me, a barricade to hide behind those few times someone wanted entry to my heart.
Ellen HopkinsThe truth is, I don't have a real clue what love is - how to find it, how to give it. Once upon a time I thought I knew.
Ellen HopkinsSad, that lives can be shattered, into so many pieces that they can never be put back together, the the relentless force of love. Irreparable.
Ellen Hopkins