Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom.

You guys looking for my dad? People are always, like, looking for him, and he's never around. Daddy is so not here. And I mean that literally and spiritually.

How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.

Now I can do the bolts," she slurred. "I've been trying to focus enough magic all week." The magic shifted and swirled, finally etching a picture in the air. It was a rough picture of Foaly, and he was laughing. I hate you, centaur!" screamed Opal, lunging toward, and then through, the insubstantial image. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and then she collapsed, snoring, on the floor. Artemis straightened his tie. Freud, he was certain, would have a field day with that.

When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.

Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.