Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

People can tell the truth much more freely when they're apparently lying.

I will jump on anybody's private plane at the drop of a hat. I'm an old-fashioned lower-middle-class boy.

The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?

I used to collect Persian rugs and real estate - you should be able to walk on and live in your money. I had to give up the rugs because I'm allergic to mould.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

I think comedy's often the little and the large, isn't it?