Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

He who laughs.....lasts.

If I had my life to live over I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'

I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to hang onto youth. I feel sorry for the men, too.