It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.

Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.

What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?