If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.

It is fast approaching the point where I don't want tAdenauer to want the job.

With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.

Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.

Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.