If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.

I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.

I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.

It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.

With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.