Every puppy should have a boy.

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar.

With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them.

If I had my life to live over I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, "I told you so.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.