Every puppy should have a boy.

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted.

The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.

I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.