Every puppy should have a boy.

People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.