I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
Erma BombeckRemember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
Erma BombeckKids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.
Erma Bombeck